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Vatican Announces Next Pope is a Jew

JL;DR SUMMARY In a satirical twist, the Vatican has appointed Benjamin Goldberg from Brooklyn, a non-traditional candidate, as the new pope, marking several firsts for the church. A way out west there was a fella, fella I want to tell you about, fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At least, that was the handle his lovin' parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. This Lebowski, he called himself the Dude. Now, Dude, that's a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then, there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place s'durned innarestin'.

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Tags

Jewish IdentityVaticanCatholic ChurchPopeInclusionSatireCultural ExchangeReligious LeadershipHumorInterfaith

Places mentioned

Vatican City, Lazio, Italy
"BREAKING NEWS: The smoke billowing from the Sistine Chapel is white and the bells of St Peters Basilica are ringing."
New York City, New York, United States
"Hes the first from North America, the first New Yorker, and the first to be a Jew."
Brooklyn, New York, United States
"Benjamin Goldberg of Brooklyn, New York spent his Easter Sunday in front of a TV watching re-runs of Curb Your Enthusiasm."
Rome, Italy
"Vatican officials believe this was a sign from God and enticed Goldberg with a 25% off coupon for a tour of Romes Jewish Quarter."
Lower East Side, New York, United States
"ignoring work calls from his medical practice in the Lower East Side."

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This item was indexed and curated by Cairo, JL;DR's web crawler.
Cairo Item ID 50391
Cairo Source ID 2
Retrieved 2025-04-29 05:30:33 UTC
Curated 2025-04-29 08:31:02 UTC