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The God Who Dwells in Doubt

JL;DR SUMMARY The author discusses their journey from atheism to faith, grappling with both belief and doubt. A way out west there was a fella, fella I want to tell you about, fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At least, that was the handle his lovin' parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. This Lebowski, he called himself the Dude. Now, Dude, that's a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then, there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place s'durned innarestin'.

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Tags

Jewish PhilosophyAbraham Joshua HeschelFaithKotzker RebbeSufferingExistentialismAweDoubtBertrand RussellTranscendence

Places mentioned

California, United States
"At 17, I took a cross-country Trailways bus to work at a Jewish summer camp in California."
Colorado, United States
"One day, we were riding through the Colorado Rockies, and I was struck by the certainty that those mountains showed the hand of an artist."
Poland
"suffered terribly in his lifetime and while not entirely absolving God for his suffering, he wrote that the destruction of the rational mind by extreme suffering left open a channel by which one could reach directly to God. This was not a repudiation of the rational or a glorification of suffering; it was a recognition of the limits of our reason and the reality that suffering can place us on a different plane of existence. I think about the Esh Kodesh, mourning his son who was killed in the bombing of Poland at the beginning of the war"

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Retrieved 2026-06-18 05:31:58 UTC
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