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How to Boycott Israel: A Guide

JL;DR SUMMARY Joshua Hoffman offers a satirical critique of the Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions (BDS) movement against Israel, illustrating its perceived hypocrisy and selective morality. A way out west there was a fella, fella I want to tell you about, fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At least, that was the handle his lovin' parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. This Lebowski, he called himself the Dude. Now, Dude, that's a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then, there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place s'durned innarestin'.

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Tags

Bds MovementZionismJewish StateBoycottIsrael AdvocacyIsraeli TechnologyMiddle East ConflictSatireCognitive DissonanceIsraeli Innovations

Places mentioned

Israel
"Congratulations!Youre now taking a bold stand against the only liberal democracy in the Middle East a tiny nation the size of New Jersey, somehow responsible for every major global injustice, including the suspicious rise in oat milk prices."
New Jersey, United States
"a tiny nation the size of New Jersey, somehow responsible for every major global injustice, including the suspicious rise in oat milk prices."
Gaza, Palestinian Territories
"or the fact that Gaza received billions in aid and built rockets instead of hospitals."
Saudi Arabia
"True apartheid? Look at South Africa, where black citizens couldnt vote or live where they wanted."
Sudan
"Sudan? Slavery persists."
China
"China? Concentration camps are fine. Iran? LGBTQ+ people? Not your business."
Iran
"China? Concentration camps are fine. Iran? LGBTQ+ people? Not your business."
California, United States
"Is there a drought in California?"
Tel Aviv, Tel Aviv District, Israel
"Example: Sarah mentions she has cousins in Tel Aviv? Demand a statement."
Hebron, Northern District, Israel
"Definitely do not read about, for instance, the Jews expelled from Arab countries, the Jews massacred in Hebron in 1929 (before there was a State of Israel), or the 3,000-year continuous Jewish presence in the land (long before Islam even existed)."
New York City, New York, United States
"Labor union strike? Somehow, somewhere, find a way to blame Israeli settler colonialism for low minimum wages in New York City."

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Cairo Item ID 50263
Cairo Source ID 36
Retrieved 2025-04-27 05:31:18 UTC
Curated 2025-04-27 08:30:52 UTC